It was the first time.

First love? Was it?

I was seventeen. He was eighteen. 12th standard. I was the teachers' favourite, hardworking, good girl. He was the casanova of the class. Slightly out of his mind, but extremely smart with words and birds.

No wonder I fell for him.

He asked me to go out for coffee with him. Obviously, I wasn't an easy fish. I said No.

Two days later, he caught me staring at him during the sports period. I blush. He smiles. I blush again. After school, he again asks me out. And again I said no.

A week later. Scores of Maths class test are announced. His disappointing grades have resulted in him being asked to sit with me in the class in the first row. At that moment, I am not sure if he's blushing harder for being asked to sit in the first row or I am blushing harder for getting the chance of a lifetime. *giggles*

Next Maths class, I catch him almost twiddling with my hair :-)
But, I am strict in these matters.
So, what do I do? Scold him? Complain to the teacher? Call his parents??
Nope. I pass him a chit of paper which says.. "Will you please stop doing that? I can't concentrate on complex numbers like this!" He replies on the same chit.. "Stop doing what?". I reply.. "You know what!!" And he turns to me, knocks on my head, and says.. "I wish I could. But I don't know how to stop falling in love with you!"

At that moment, I am not sure whether to slap him or kiss him. Instinct supported the first, while my heart cheered for the latter. Thankfully (or maybe not), like in movies, the bell rang, he got up, said .. "I'll see you later..", gives his amazingly sexy smile, and is gone. Bunking rest of the day's classes. I guess, attending Maths class while bunking all others is his way of showing admiration for me. I am impressed ;-)

Later, a few days before the pre-board exams, I had to call him for getting my maths notebook back. He seemed to be in his chirpy flirtatious mood again. And he asked me out again. Just as I was rehearsing and going through my excuse list, he says this to me..

"You need to resign yourself to the awkwardness of life. Only if you find peace within yourself will you find true connection with others."

I am stunned. Speechless. Battling the instinct to tell him to go to tell, I think.. How true. My life and attitude is all messed up. This is exactly what I needed to hear. After a few moments, I complete the conversation about the maths notebook. Just before he's about to say bye, I suggest him to come to CCD close to the school.

Thats where the notes were exchanged.
Thats where I realized I was being very very rude all the time.
Thats where I realized he was not a Casanova after all.
Thats where, over a cup of hot chocolate, I fell in love.

Thats where (well, just outside the CCD actually),

I had my first kiss.